The worst present I ever got was from my grandparents. I was about 10 years old. I was never musically inclined. I can't read music notes. I'm pretty much tone deaf. When I hear two sounds I can't even tell you which of them is higher.

So getting me a musical instrument was bad enough... But they didn't just get me a flute or a guitar... they got me an accordeon! The kind they play in Polka bands. The worst part is, it was a very nice, very expensive accordeon.

I didn't want to hurt their feelings so I pretended it was the greatest gift ever. And after that, every time my grandparents came over for a visit, they asked me to play on the accordion, and I'd sit there like a circus monkey, pulling and pushing this huge red accordeon thing that kinda looked like a radiator.